Lies, damn lies, and statistics

I grew up with a Mother who had a loose relationship with the truth. A Gemini, she shaped it, stretched it, manipulated it and distorted it out of all recognition. I seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time yelling ‘that’s not true’. But even so her barbs found their mark, and lodged deep in my heart as core beliefs. Even now it is hard for me to fully reject them.

In the eighties in the workplace I was a secretary so lying was my stock in trade. But I thought those sort of lies didn’t really count (‘he’s in a meeting, he’s not here at the moment, he would love to come but . . . ‘) and I can’t remember when the shift happened that I realised that a lie was a lie was a lie. It compromises your soul, your psychic abilities and your growth and it is unnecessary and inexcusable. It might have been after the relationship (with another Gemini!) who thought it was funny to trick, bamboozle and baffle me by saying one thing and meaning another. Why is it that men think it is so much fun to lie to a gullible woman?

It might have been after I did Reiki and the light finally dawned into my rapid descent into darkness in the drug world, or it might have been when I did The Awakening as it was then and Natasha said that every lie compromises our psychic and intuitive abilities. It might have been sometime in between when I was working for yet another Gemini who would give lengthy instructions one day on a course of action, and the next day deny that she would ever have said such a thing (!). You are quite right to wonder why I haven’t cottoned on to the Gemini two facedness before now. I must be a very slow learner!

Or maybe it was when I remembered my childhood sexual abuse and realised the damage which secrets and lies inflict and the horrors they mask.

I can’t remember the exact moment, even whether there was one, or just a gradual shift away from telling tales. Being a truth teller has got me into a lot of trouble over the years. Only now am I beginning to learn to hold my counsel rather than tell the unpalatable or unasked for truth. But I don’t lie. Not even the little so called ‘white’ lies which would wriggle me out of things I don’t want to do. It’s damned inconvenient sometimes but my mantra is ‘Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth . . . ‘

Uncompromising, unvarnished, honest. Rare, I guess, in a world where secrets and lies are the most common of currencies. But my soul demands I take a stand. My spiritual life is more important than the glib slickness of a smooth lie upon my tongue. And as a truth teller, and victim of lies, I know what it is to believe someone, to want to trust, and to hear what they are saying, while the finely tuned metronome of my body’s lie detector, feels sick as the lie is received. Lying shows such a lack of respect, such a lack of love, presumes power over. And what is it that feeds the desire to deceive? Why would we want to hoodwink someone we care about?

Even someone we don’t? Do you like being lied to? Don’t we all deserve the respect which comes with honesty? If we all took the pledge to tell the truth wouldn’t the world be a better place. Big and small wars could end. Everyone could start trusting one another. We would all start operating from the heart, from the soul, instead of from the lying, tricking, monkey mind. Lying is a game of one-upmanship that no one ever really wins, truth telling is win:win because we communicate from our human needs and seek compassion and empathy.

And once lied to, how can we trust? Once hoodwinked, tricked and manipulated, how can we believe? The liar does him or herself such a disservice because once caught out in a lie, everything they have ever done or said is called into question. Nothing can be believed, all is under question, the fabric of the lie and the life behind it are ripped apart.

Why lie when a heartfelt truth can only be received with compassion and empathy by the recipient? Lies are for weaklings and cowards without the backbone for the truth. Truth takes courage. Standing up for your truth is essential. Taking a stand for Truth in general as a way of life, for our workplaces, our marriages, our children who should never hear or feel a lie.

I want to be a person of integrity. Whose actions in the world mirror my spiritual truths. I am a spiritual warrior, not a cuddly soft touch. Walking a spiritual path is hard work but I am willing because it is worth it to improve as a person, to pledge to erase or heal errors and poor actions of the past, this life and before, because it seems to me that is my soul work. That we all have this soul work to do. I have to accept, though, that some are willing to do it, and others not.

Just imagine a world without lies for a moment, feel it in your heart and bones, and then please join me in a world where they are unnecessary and where the honour of truth resonates in every home and heart.

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